Monday, October 11, 2010

Raising kids without religion.

So, if you're a parent...you already know how tough it is to teach your kids right from wrong...this is especially hard when you are trying to let them make mistakes so that they can grow. My kids are amazing and I'm very proud of them when they overcome an obstacles using their judgement.
I'm not religious...as most of you may know. However, I have gotten a lot of concerned opinions on the matter....such as "How can you raise your kids without guidance?"...."If you don't go to church, how will your children learn the gospel?"..."You better be careful, kids need something concrete and structured.", etc....
However, my reply is simple and always the same. My first priority is my children, every time I speak to them, do activities with them, show affection...the first thought that comes to mind...is "how is this going to affect my kids when they are adults?" ...I dont care how other people feel about how I raise my children, I care how my children are affected by the things I chose to share with them. I have taught my children from a young age about drugs, sex, peer pressure and the like...They are not embarassed to ask me questions about anything, and I answer honestly without any sugar coating. I have worked extremely hard to show my kids the world without pushing my opinions on them, it's a very delicate balance.....For instance gay marriage, I have my own opinion but I don't push it on my children, I tell them the facts...actual facts...trying hard not to voice my opinion on the matter. One of my children thinks that gay marriage is wrong and the other one doesn't.
You may think this is wrong of me to do, however I feel that this is the healthiest way to raise children...you'd be surprised with their logic if you just give them the facts without your opinion. I don't punish, or tell my children that they are wrong based on their beliefs. Though I am not religious...my kids live in a chaotic/structured life style....meaning that no my house isn't always clean, I rarely plan ahead....we just get up and go. But, I always show affection and my kids know that saying "bad words" is disrespectful...they also know why they are not allowed to date until they are much older...ask Nevaeh she will tell you "Having a boyfriend at a young age, will lead you to do bad things that your not ready for." and yes she knows what those bad things are and the cause and affect. Such as Teen pregnancy, STDS and the like...My kids are not going to go out into the world unprepared....I have shown them a lot of great things about the world and some not so great things, but they know 100% no matter what happens...good or bad, I will be here for them.
I have seen a lot of people who went to church and had religion shoved down their throats their entire lives...that by the time they are adults....they do things that I'm sure their parents wouldn't approve of and avoided church at all costs. I know that this isn't always the case.....but I also know people who were not raised in religious homes and are some of the kindest, most sincere people you'd ever meet. So, all I'm saying is, you cant judge someone or predict what their kids will grow up to be like, when your not there everyday in the atmosphere that they are growing up in.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but I hate hearing over and over again that I can't raise my kids without the church. I am their guidance, that is my job as a parent and I take that job very seriously. And yes, you can be spiritual without being religious.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Head Colds & Missing glasses

Tis the season...to well....GET SICK! That is the worst part about fall. Though Fall is my favorite season, I could definitely do without the Coughing, Sneezing, Headaches, Sore throats and the like. I imagine that it will be a little less annoying now that KyLea has an obsession with hand sanitizer (Yes, she even received a bottle for her birthday...she was very excited)....Though this cold has been mild, I stocked our cabinets with Lot's O Vitamin C, Cold Medicine, Orange juice, Vapor Rub, etc....I am more prepared than a boy scout.

Nevaeh was the first to get sick, having a cousin spend the weekend with the sniffles...should have been my first sign of things to come. But, despite the after affects of the weekend..the girls had a blast with their cousin and I enjoyed hanging out with the sister I rarely get to see (Sarah). We made a visit to the Farmers Market (It's a big deal here in Logan), it was a lot of fun. Than we planned KyLea and Nevaeh's Birthday at the park....I figure it would be cheaper to do together, that and unfortunately KyLea's b-day is in July, so she misses out on being able to invite her friends from school. After the birthday bash, Sarah and I headed over to Hobby Lobby and went out for dinner...(We left the stinkers at home), it was a much needed break after such a long day.



Then right before my sister headed out of town....We had a photo shoot with her and Ashlinn. Here is a pic...of the momentous occassion.

Yes, I know I have beautiful sisters. Next time my other sister (Candace) Comes up, I'm going to take her pictures.

On a side note, KyLea has lost her glasses AGAIN. Oh, gosh...it's so frustrating having a child who wears glasses. I told KyLea that she's grounded until she has her glasses back on. So...we'll see how it goes.

Friday, September 24, 2010

WoW...has it really been more than a year?

I honestly don't know if anyone really reads my posts, but I guess it's a good way for me to look back on certain events. So much can happen in a year and half...We are still living in Logan, UT. and I really feel like it's home, I didn't realize that until I was coming back from Utah County and finally saw Cache Valley peeking through the mountains on my way through the canyon. Oh geeez...that feeling of home was like a smack in the face, it was a bizarre happy feeling.

Anyways, Nevaeh is now in 3rd grade and KyLea is in 1st. My girls are growing up and I'm far from ready for the teenage years that seem to be just around the corner. Nevaeh and KyLea are very happy living here and have a lot of friends in the neighborhood. They are such well behaved kids...(except that they are always arguing with eachother). I barely have to punish them...because they truly hate to disappoint me...I had no idea that my kids would ever turn out that way. They get very upset with themselves if I show the slightest amount of disappointment. The fact that they rely so much on my approval....is something that I never expected and it's still a very foreign concept...Whenever Nevaeh and KyLea do something that is the slightest bit "bad"...and I see them, they immediately start crying and apologizing and sometimes they start beating themselves up before I get the chance to punish them, they even come up to me and tell me the honest truth before I have to find out on my own. Luckily, they don't have a tendancy to do "bad" things....so it's an occurence that happens on a rare occassion...and I guess that's a good thing...because it breaks my heart to see them so upset at themselves.

Nevaeh is really into dinosaurs....I mean "obsessed" is probably the best description...she knows a lot of the scientific names and what era they came from....she also can tell you factoids about her favorites. She said she wants to be a paleontologist when she grows up....she is a very one mindset type of personality and is determined when she finds something that fascinates her. Nevaeh is brilliant...I know a lot of parents think their children are smart...but there is something about Nevaeh that I can't put my finger on....she understands some of the most complex situations and doesn't like when people sugar coat things...she likes hard facts. She takes things very seriously and she hates to break the rules...She will probably be a law abiding citizen for life. =)

KyLea on the other hand is very scatter brained like me and wants to have several jobs when she gets older, including: Chef, Actor, Singer, Artist...etc. She is extremely funny and doesn't know it, she is very social and never has to try to make friends...she is just a likable little girl that everyone loves being around. She is so caring, loving...and tells people how much she loves them more than once a day. One of the most sincere people I know, she has my heart wrapped around her little finger and makes me want to be more like her. She doesn't care if her friends do bad things, she always looks at the good things they do...and ignores the bad. She loves life and has very interesting thoughts and ideas about life...very bizarre ideas...they often make me laugh. One time she said "Soldiers like getting cavities...because they are tough and like pain."

In a nutshell...my family is doing good, and every day we discover more and more about how unique our little family is and are happy raising our kids in a loving, honest home...we are very straight forward and try to show as much to our kids...as possible. I'm glad we started this at a young age because they are not embarassed to ask us question and they know they can be honest with us....I may not be the best mom, but I couldn't be a luckier one.......they are just amazing.