So, if you're a parent...you already know how tough it is to teach your kids right from wrong...this is especially hard when you are trying to let them make mistakes so that they can grow. My kids are amazing and I'm very proud of them when they overcome an obstacles using their judgement.
I'm not religious...as most of you may know. However, I have gotten a lot of concerned opinions on the matter....such as "How can you raise your kids without guidance?"...."If you don't go to church, how will your children learn the gospel?"..."You better be careful, kids need something concrete and structured.", etc....
However, my reply is simple and always the same. My first priority is my children, every time I speak to them, do activities with them, show affection...the first thought that comes to mind...is "how is this going to affect my kids when they are adults?" ...I dont care how other people feel about how I raise my children, I care how my children are affected by the things I chose to share with them. I have taught my children from a young age about drugs, sex, peer pressure and the like...They are not embarassed to ask me questions about anything, and I answer honestly without any sugar coating. I have worked extremely hard to show my kids the world without pushing my opinions on them, it's a very delicate balance.....For instance gay marriage, I have my own opinion but I don't push it on my children, I tell them the facts...actual facts...trying hard not to voice my opinion on the matter. One of my children thinks that gay marriage is wrong and the other one doesn't.
You may think this is wrong of me to do, however I feel that this is the healthiest way to raise children...you'd be surprised with their logic if you just give them the facts without your opinion. I don't punish, or tell my children that they are wrong based on their beliefs. Though I am not religious...my kids live in a chaotic/structured life style....meaning that no my house isn't always clean, I rarely plan ahead....we just get up and go. But, I always show affection and my kids know that saying "bad words" is disrespectful...they also know why they are not allowed to date until they are much older...ask Nevaeh she will tell you "Having a boyfriend at a young age, will lead you to do bad things that your not ready for." and yes she knows what those bad things are and the cause and affect. Such as Teen pregnancy, STDS and the like...My kids are not going to go out into the world unprepared....I have shown them a lot of great things about the world and some not so great things, but they know 100% no matter what happens...good or bad, I will be here for them.
I have seen a lot of people who went to church and had religion shoved down their throats their entire lives...that by the time they are adults....they do things that I'm sure their parents wouldn't approve of and avoided church at all costs. I know that this isn't always the case.....but I also know people who were not raised in religious homes and are some of the kindest, most sincere people you'd ever meet. So, all I'm saying is, you cant judge someone or predict what their kids will grow up to be like, when your not there everyday in the atmosphere that they are growing up in.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but I hate hearing over and over again that I can't raise my kids without the church. I am their guidance, that is my job as a parent and I take that job very seriously. And yes, you can be spiritual without being religious.
I could not agree more. I have battled that same thing throughout Wyatt's life, too. We should not have to feel as though we are doing our children a disservice by not raising them in church. I think we are actually providing them with the opportunity to be more open-minded, clear-thinking, well-rounded adults. I too have very clear cut thoughts on gay marriage. As I wrote a paper for school on Prop 8, Wyatt had questions about it and I explained with as little bias as I could. People tend to be appauled that I would do this, but I feel as though why keep blinders on my son. I do want to maintain innocence, but not ignorance.
ReplyDeleteI loved your blog and I think you are a strong and excellent mother for maintaining your beliefs.
Thanks Brit, Yes...I do think that a lot of the McKee grandkids all feel the same way. We are very open minded and I want my kids to feel that they can be the same way. I'm very opposed to the blinders that a lot of parents put on their kids....because it causes more problems in the future than it helps. But to each his own...I just wish people would keep their thoughts to themselves just like I do for them.
ReplyDelete