The Working Mom Syndrome

So, yet again...it's been a long time and I gotta say, I don't feel bad about the time passing by between posts. And I'll tell you why, I am now a working mom...and when you become a working mom...you care a little less about things that aren't right in front of your face.

My schedule is rough, but I manage. It's worth the freedom, extra income and social life that comes with working. I enjoy my job and my girls are getting to the point where they can do more things on their own.

I've cured my always tired problem, it's called getting your butt up...and seizing the day! The first thing I say when I wake up each morning, is "Seize the Day!" and with that in mind, I take ownership of everything that I accomplish or don't accomplish. I feel in more control of my surroundings and my happiness (which I have to say, is an awesome feeling).

However, there are always downsides to being a Working Mom...and so being a working mom isn't for everyone. I do miss the extra time I spent with my girls each day, the times have become shorter. The way, I've found around the depressing feeling you get from this, is to make the limited time you get with them....as fun filled as possible. I enjoy taking them out on the weekends, cooking dinner with them, etc. It makes you appreciate how youth is so fleeting.

The girls are in the after school program, which was a true life saver this year. I'm happy that my girls got this opportunity, they really enjoy the people there and the fun activities they get to do.

I work from 8 to 5 so by the time I pick up the girls we only have a few hours before bed time, which consists of dinner, bath time and getting ready for the next day. I think you can take any time like these moments and make it fun for your kids.

I don't know what I'm going to do as far as my kids schedule during summer though...that is quite the puzzle...I have yet to figure out. We'll see how everything pans out when it comes closer to that time.

Freedom

I think I'm getting better at keeping up with my blog. I've been finding myself sleeping a lot lately, all I want to do is sleep. I have been trying to get over the feeling, but all I can think about is going back to bed after I drop my kids off at school. I really need to hunker down and figure out what my problem is, I seem to have lost a lot of my drive that I had when I was going to school.

On another note, Valentines day weekend was nice. I cooked James dinner and confined the girls upstairs, and made a one time allowance for them to eat popcorn while they watched a movie...(no food allowed at all upstairs), so they were pretty excited about that. I bought the girls a rose and a necklace and they were delighted and gushed with girlish glee....I love that I can do more grown up things now and they can appreciate them.

I am simplifying my life this year, this wasn't a new years resolution..it actually started in March of last year. I have realized that putting so much effort into one day events, stresses me out and I can't fully enjoy in all the fun, because frankly it's quite exhausting. So, I am making an effort to focus most of my energy on everyday things, cleaning, laughing and playing with my girls, and finding the simple joys in life.

I am so happy, that I am able to really think about my future and decide what I want to do for the rest of my life. I haven't had that luxury for the past 8 or so years. James has taken it upon himself to be the soul provider, until I am completely satisfied with my plans. He has grown to be such a wonderful guy...I mean I have always loved him, but now I'm starting to love him for different reasons. He enjoys his job, but with most jobs...you get bored and need a vacation...luckily we will be getting one in the next month or so, our destination? PORTLAND, oh geez, I'm so excited! We haven't been able to have a family vacation in over 4 years, due to finances. But I made a promise to myself and my family and I don't break promises. I have been given a lot of great fortune in my life, not in the way of money, but with family, friends and finally getting freedom that I never had before. I want to enjoy life, to the fullest...and that's what I intend to do.

Photography

I am so happy when I have a camera in my hands. Capturing a single moment is thrilling, especially when everything falls into place, and it turns out perfect. I was extremely nervous when I first starting doing this, but over time I feel a sense of calm wash over me. Photography is my passion and I am on my way...The freedom I feel right now, is beyond anything I felt before. I can't see myself working for another corporation or call center. I have been given so many opportunities here in Logan that I never thought were possible. I have so many amazing people to thank for helping me discover my true passions in life (My mom, dad, sisters, Levi Sims, Minette, among many others) . I am doing the things I want to do, rather than things that I have to do.

I know I am still at the very beginning of this journey, but the beginning is exciting...so many possibilities, though I don't know where I will end up in 5 years, I'm happy to report that gaining confidence is key if I want to do something amazing with everything I have learned.

I try to encourage everyone that I know to discover their passion and hone skills that will bring them closer to living the life they want to.

My beautiful sister Candace

An amazing barn I found in Smithfield, UT.

Reading and Dentists

So, I've read a few books so far this year, and unfortunately the more I read the more I realize, I am definitely a series kind of person. So far this year I've read only books that aren't part of a series, and I kind of find it somewhat dull. I like to have something to look forward to when I'm done reading a book. On a side note, I hate, hate, hate..books that are written in the mindset of a teenage girl, and there are so many out there it's unbelievable.
Right now, I'm reading ship breaker and I'm only a few pages in but I'm hoping it's better than the other books I've read this year. My goal is to read 100 books by the end of this year, I want to read classics, new books, biography's, etc. I don't want to limit myself, I wish I lived long enough to read all of the books in the library. =)
Everytime I think about moving back down to Utah county, I get so torn inside. I miss my family so much but at the same time, I really love Logan. I wish I was rich enough to buy two homes and just alternate between the two. Do you have a million dollars that I can borrow..indefinitely? There are some pro's and cons to both places..but, it makes me sad that I can't decide. I wish that Salt Lake and all the in between cities would just disappear and I could stay in Logan and be happy and still be able to visit my family without an overnight trip.
Nevaeh and KyLea went to the dentist yesterday and it's kind of amusing watching them get there teath cleaned and xrays done. The faces that they make are quite entertaining...especially after they have the flouride treatment, the best way to describe it is...if you gave a dog peanut butter.
Everything checks out and I'm happy to report that KyLea is cavity free and Nevaeh had a tooth that came in without enamel...so they did drill but, it was a very limited amount of damage. YaY! On a another note, to those parents who have kids that fear or hate something....tell them how great they are at doing that particular thing...and they will work really hard to prove that you are right. (I mean, come one! What kid doesn't want to be great!) I used this technique when I was a substitue teacher...I'd encourage the kids who were poor readers by telling them how great they were at it...and the response was amazing. Kids love being recognized. =)
So give your kids recognition in the area that they need improvement...and you'd be surprised how big of a difference it will make. I love figuring out how kids work, their minds are so open and you can show them how there is no limit to what they can do, something unfortunately I don't have...I limit myself way to often, if I had a new years resolution it'd be to fix that glitch in my mind.

TaTa for now.

Which Way is Up?

I'm nearly done with school and so many things are up in the air....that I wish I could fly. I think that with things so uncertain, I think it's causing me to go a little loopy. I wish sometimes that I had a small glimpse into the next year...but unfortunately no one has created a time machine.... and even if they had, I'm pretty certain they wouldn't let me borrow it.

The one thing that I'm certain of is how amazing my children are. I'm lucky to be KyLea and Nevaeh's mom. I would give anything to make them happy, healthy and free spirited adults. I think one of the most important things about being a mom is realizing that you cant expect your children to be perfect...but you can always teach them to do better than the day before.

Nevaeh is a tough nut to crack, her social ackwardness is something I hope she grows out of..she is shy but once you get to know her...she doesn't shut up (lol). She boasts about being the big mouth of the family, I love how she embraces her unique qualities and at this point she is one person I don't think will be easily influenced by others.

Nevaeh has some really interesting ticks...that I have been working on helping her break...it's been tough and I keep telling myself one at a time. Most recently she broke the habit of walking on her tip toes...why was this a problem you ask? Well...she would literally wear out a pair of shoes in a matter of 2 months, she would have holes all the way through to her socks...near the top of her foot. Now it's time to break the habit of nail biting and this very bizarre noise she makes with her throat (something she does about every 5 mins)...Why is this a problem you ask? Well....The nail biting is a nasty habit because sticking your hands in your mouth that often can cause you to become sick with whatever virus that just so happens to be on your hands at the time...and the noise...well, I just find it annoying.

Nevaeh's a great kid and she is someone that I would love to have as a friend if I weren't her mom. If I needed to know anything about dinosaurs or siamese cats...she'd be my go to girl.

KyLea, oh my heck...where do I start. She's so...well, KyLea. She's the sweetest little girl I know, she often brings down a blanket or brings me things that she thinks I might need without me ever asking. She is always looking out for the well being of everyone around her. She's a cuddle bug and hates when Nevaeh gets to sit by me when we watch a movie. She is always tucked behind my legs when I'm laying down. She has repeatedly told me how she wishes she could be a baby again and how she never wants to leave me (often times, this brings her to tears). She's very emotional. KyLea doesn't scare easily and can handle anything, except....if she's bleeding (No kidding, even if it's the smallest little prick on her finger), she cries and has to show everyone her excruciating experience...(I really hope she never breaks a leg or an arm).

The girls argue over who gets to grab me the comb or hairspray or who gets to help mom stir the batter or put away the dishes...they are so helpful...except I'm starting to think they do this to one up each other. I'm wondering if having a 3rd child would be better than 2...I guess it's to late at this point.

Nevaeh and KyLea both sprung on me that they want to be in a beauty pageant...ummm...what? I can see KyLea wanting to, but my Dinosaur loving little girl? Utterly confused, I asked them why? And of course the reason....they want to win! Oh geez....HELP! I usually let my girls make their own decisions...but I think this is one of those rare occasions where I'm going to have to draw the line (I'm still thinking about whether this will be the right decision).

Well enough rambling for now! Don't you hate how parents brag about their kids???? =)

I gotta post some pictures on here....I'll look through them and post some the next update.

Raising kids without religion.

So, if you're a parent...you already know how tough it is to teach your kids right from wrong...this is especially hard when you are trying to let them make mistakes so that they can grow. My kids are amazing and I'm very proud of them when they overcome an obstacles using their judgement.
I'm not religious...as most of you may know. However, I have gotten a lot of concerned opinions on the matter....such as "How can you raise your kids without guidance?"...."If you don't go to church, how will your children learn the gospel?"..."You better be careful, kids need something concrete and structured.", etc....
However, my reply is simple and always the same. My first priority is my children, every time I speak to them, do activities with them, show affection...the first thought that comes to mind...is "how is this going to affect my kids when they are adults?" ...I dont care how other people feel about how I raise my children, I care how my children are affected by the things I chose to share with them. I have taught my children from a young age about drugs, sex, peer pressure and the like...They are not embarassed to ask me questions about anything, and I answer honestly without any sugar coating. I have worked extremely hard to show my kids the world without pushing my opinions on them, it's a very delicate balance.....For instance gay marriage, I have my own opinion but I don't push it on my children, I tell them the facts...actual facts...trying hard not to voice my opinion on the matter. One of my children thinks that gay marriage is wrong and the other one doesn't.
You may think this is wrong of me to do, however I feel that this is the healthiest way to raise children...you'd be surprised with their logic if you just give them the facts without your opinion. I don't punish, or tell my children that they are wrong based on their beliefs. Though I am not religious...my kids live in a chaotic/structured life style....meaning that no my house isn't always clean, I rarely plan ahead....we just get up and go. But, I always show affection and my kids know that saying "bad words" is disrespectful...they also know why they are not allowed to date until they are much older...ask Nevaeh she will tell you "Having a boyfriend at a young age, will lead you to do bad things that your not ready for." and yes she knows what those bad things are and the cause and affect. Such as Teen pregnancy, STDS and the like...My kids are not going to go out into the world unprepared....I have shown them a lot of great things about the world and some not so great things, but they know 100% no matter what happens...good or bad, I will be here for them.
I have seen a lot of people who went to church and had religion shoved down their throats their entire lives...that by the time they are adults....they do things that I'm sure their parents wouldn't approve of and avoided church at all costs. I know that this isn't always the case.....but I also know people who were not raised in religious homes and are some of the kindest, most sincere people you'd ever meet. So, all I'm saying is, you cant judge someone or predict what their kids will grow up to be like, when your not there everyday in the atmosphere that they are growing up in.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but I hate hearing over and over again that I can't raise my kids without the church. I am their guidance, that is my job as a parent and I take that job very seriously. And yes, you can be spiritual without being religious.

Head Colds & Missing glasses

Tis the season...to well....GET SICK! That is the worst part about fall. Though Fall is my favorite season, I could definitely do without the Coughing, Sneezing, Headaches, Sore throats and the like. I imagine that it will be a little less annoying now that KyLea has an obsession with hand sanitizer (Yes, she even received a bottle for her birthday...she was very excited)....Though this cold has been mild, I stocked our cabinets with Lot's O Vitamin C, Cold Medicine, Orange juice, Vapor Rub, etc....I am more prepared than a boy scout.

Nevaeh was the first to get sick, having a cousin spend the weekend with the sniffles...should have been my first sign of things to come. But, despite the after affects of the weekend..the girls had a blast with their cousin and I enjoyed hanging out with the sister I rarely get to see (Sarah). We made a visit to the Farmers Market (It's a big deal here in Logan), it was a lot of fun. Than we planned KyLea and Nevaeh's Birthday at the park....I figure it would be cheaper to do together, that and unfortunately KyLea's b-day is in July, so she misses out on being able to invite her friends from school. After the birthday bash, Sarah and I headed over to Hobby Lobby and went out for dinner...(We left the stinkers at home), it was a much needed break after such a long day.



Then right before my sister headed out of town....We had a photo shoot with her and Ashlinn. Here is a pic...of the momentous occassion.

Yes, I know I have beautiful sisters. Next time my other sister (Candace) Comes up, I'm going to take her pictures.

On a side note, KyLea has lost her glasses AGAIN. Oh, gosh...it's so frustrating having a child who wears glasses. I told KyLea that she's grounded until she has her glasses back on. So...we'll see how it goes.